Have you ever found yourself wondering if you're on schedule for your own life? Do you find yourself comparing your life milestones and accomplishments to those around you, and contemplating if you're lagging behind? If so, join the club of everyday people who torture themselves with the limiting notion that they must check off certain goals by a certain timeframe in order to feel validated. Ask yourself, am I on deadline for my own life?
A wise individual once told me... "don't rush away your life. Enjoy the journey."
If life is in fact a journey, one that is unique to each and every one of us, offering tailored challenges, opportunities and interpretations then why is it so easy to find ourselves in subconscious competition with the next? If the finish line is going to be different for everyone, then what is the rush?
External/societal influences are one culprit that can increase the speed of someone's internal clock. Whether it relates to personal or corporate achievements, those around you may be having too much of an impact on your psyche. Things like your mother constantly ask you when you're going to give her a grand baby and you're single...or witnessing a peer from college land their dream job while you're still working in retail can make you overanalyze your own journey. Start to be more aware of these moments and if you catch yourself feeling down on yourself, remember that you're the captain on this ride and you are in control of your destiny. Acknowledge the actions you're taking.
Seeking validation in place of unwavering joy is another reason one may find themself checking the clock. Sure, the praise that we receive when we've accomplished something major in the eyes of others makes us feel warm and gooey inside, but who is the judge of what is major and what is not? Also, if the validation bar is always raised then at what point will you ever feel complete? In this sense, can one ever be "on time"? Before you share your accomplishments with anyone, stop and take the time to look in the mirror and say "good job", "well done", "I'm proud of myself". External validation should never be a necessity to have peace and joy, or a cause to accelerate your travels.
The fear of not being the best person we can possibly be is judgement on ourselves and plays a part in making us think we're on deadline for our own lives. Our values and experiences determine what is best for us and this is not something that can be measured by anyone but you. Enjoy the freedom of knowing that you're the the boss. Make up your own hours, put in hard work and reap the benefit this life has to offer for YOU.
Trust in yourself knowing that you're right where you should be, right now. You won't get there without being present, here.
-Candace Elena